Marauding Mischief
by MoosePie
Summary: Tales of how the Marauders right out of school get into mischief, with Lily having to live through it all. Almost completed.
1. Mornings are Never the Best

**Marauding Mischief  
  
****-**

**This is my first ever fanfiction, so bear with me. Reviews will be very much appreciated.**

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**Disclaimer: ****Any characters, places, or anything at all that you recognize as Harry Potter universe is owned by the wonderfully talented J.K. Rowling. Not me. The plot does belong to me though.**

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**-**

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Chapter One: Mornings are Never the Best

"That was bloody brilliant James, " A voice shouted over the roaring crowd of students packed into the Entrance Hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The lone voice belonged to one of the four Marauders; Sirius Black, and as for the growing cheers of the crowd? Those belonged to the proud Gryffindors of Gryffindor House. The occasion was the final Quidditch match and victory of Gryffindor versus Slytherin. What made this particular game so prominent was that Gryffindor had not only won the Quidditch Cup, but also the House Cup. Also of course that it was the last day of school.

"Party in the common room, " the victor of the final goal before the Snitch was caught; James Potter yelled. Probably the most like Chaser on the team. "Moony and I will take care of the refreshments," Sirius called when and Moony, whom is the third Marauder also going by the name of Remus, were half-way down the corridor. Behind them trailed none other than Peter Pettigrew, the fourth and final Marauder. "Meet you in the common room." James in the hands of fellow Gryffindors was carried up the Grand Staircase and away they went to the common room for celebration.

Beep. Beep. Beeep.

The obnoxious blaring of an all too familiar alarm clock.

"Mmm. Whaduya want?" James had just been having a marvelous dream; what he would have preferred happen for his and fellow Marauders final day at Hogwarts. "Five more minutes." Snores erupted from the now eighteen year olds parted lips. A year after graduating from wizarding school and he was still having crazy Quidditch dreams, not that similar things never happened to him in his years of playing the game.

"Mmmhmm… Okay, fine." James finally surrendered to the still buzzing alarm, but not before a last hurrah. The beeping stopped almost instantly and several seconds later the electric twitters also died down. Yes, the melodramatic teen had just chucked his ' blasted noisemaker' at the wall.

"Now that that's settled…" A cry of disgust accompanied by a loud "YEACH!" sent the boy tumbling from his bed entwined in sheets to the floor. No matter how handsome a young male or great a Quidditch player he was, an eighteen year olds drool was never for any means something you wanted to bury your face in.

"Fine! You win," he shouted to air before disentangling himself from the bed sheets. "What time is it?" Surpressing a yawn he once again asked the air, or perhaps the 'dead blasted noisemaker'. Only after he'd asked the absurd question did he realize that he had destroyed one means of telling the time. "Right-" He pulled his wristwatch from the nightstand beside him and peered at the face. It read 9:30. "Better wake Remus."

After the group had left school they began to wonder what might happen to them. Lily Evans, James' life long crush and girlfriend for two years, had recently gotten a flat of her own after moving out from her parent's home. Sirius also happened to have his own, two years old, in the same complex. So, Remus and James decided they'd be roomies and bought one of their own.

"Oi Re-" James called into his friends open bedroom door. "Oh, I see you've already showered and gotten dressed." Remus greeted him with a warm smile before a witty response. "I see you haven't." Chuckling James took a look at himself—indeed he hadn't; clothed in only a pair of smiley face boxers. Remus on the other hand was clad in jeans and a deep blue T-shirt, compliment his light eyes. The full moon having been a good week or so ago, and the next not for several weeks, he was in great shape. Being a werewolf and all really took it out of you.

"I suppose considering our plans for today I should get ready too," James said solemnly, glancing up at Remus after examining himself. "I suppose you should. Hurry though, and if you need help with something," at saying this, Remus, also by the name of Moony, did not attempt to conceal the smirk on his face, "Like turning the water on or off, I'll be reading in the other room."

"Thanks, but I think I can manage," James said surpressing yet another yawn before plodding to his room to gather up clothes, and then into the bathroom. Focusing on not killing himself in the process, he bathed and clothed himself; wearing the same as Remus, though with a different colored T-shirt.

A good twenty minutes later Prongs was out of the bathroom and prepared for the day's events. "D'ya reckon Padfoot and Lily will be ready?" Moony closed his book and nodded a good, hearty no. "Lily, yes. Why don't you give her a call?"

"I'll do that." Grabbing a finely polished wand from the table beside the cough, his wand,he promptly said, "Accio telephone." In seconds a handset was firmly grasped in his hand while he dialed her number. 445-3155. Memorized.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lils, it's me."

"Oh hi James. Particular reason you're calling at-," she set the receiver down for a moment, attempting to locate her wristwatch, "—10 o' clock? I thought we were supposed to meet at… 10:45."

"We are. Moony just suggested I call you, and I figured you could come over while we wait for Padfoot."

"Oh. Of course. Shall I Apparate over in say, five minutes?"

"Sure."

"Okay, love you."

"Same to you, bye."

"Bye bye."

Dropping the handset on its hook on his way, he plopped down on the couch beside Remus. "Shall I go get Padfoot then?" he asked, hazel eyes flickering towards the middle of the room, awaiting Lily's arrival. "Yeah. And she should be here in just a minute." Remus boredly flipped through the pages of his book. "Okay, back in 10."

On his way o the door, James snatched Remus' book and tossed it on the kitchen counter. "You won't need it for awhile." He said in regard to Remus' crestfallen face.

It seemed like hours, but it had actually been only two minutes. Exactly. "Sirius! Open the door!" James considered apparating in, but with a sigh inwardly, he remembered his promise to himself. You never knew how safe it would be in Sirius' case. Snorting at the thought he tapped the doorknob with his wand. "I'm coming in."

Though there wasn't much need for his warning, as Sirius was dead asleep. "The prat…" He surveyed the front room: dirty dishes, empty pizza box. The usual. "Frowzy prat I should say." With further investigation the lean form of Sirius was found sprawled across his one man bed, drooling on the covers. Typical. Mustering up his strength,- granted with much- he lifter his friend's boy and carried him to the bathroom, lazily dropping him on the floor.

"Alright Siri…Paddy old friend. Time to rise and shine." Grinning at the thought he ran the icy water for several minutes to clean the tub, then shut it off. Wish you the best of luck mate, he thought aloud. Picking his body off the ground, he carefully lowered his best friend into the tub- fully clothed, well, boxers and an over large shirt.

"Mmm… chocolate."

Whoosh

"Aieee!" Laughter. "Cold, cold!" More laughter. "What in bloody hell was that for—" Sirius shouted from the ground, thoroughly soaked. When the 'refreshing' shot of water poured over him, in an attempt to escape he slipped on the floor and made a nice butt plant on the floor.

"James." Said Sirius with the look of a mad-man, which distorted his usual handsome complexion. "Just look at the—Ow!" James never got to finish h is sentence because he was forced to apparate home when Sirius caught sight of him.

Panting heavily, James dropped in 'his' recliner which was opposite the cough. "Hullo James," Lily said from one end of the couch. "Hel—where are you?" Immediately James' hands were pressed against his face. No glasses. "They must've fallen off when Padfoot hit me." True they did, and without them he was as blind as a bat.

Remus looked at James skeptically from the end opposite Lily. "And that would be him." Standing in the middle of James and Remus' living room was Sirius, but a much more composed one. "you cleaned up quickly." "Yeah… these yours Prongs?" Sirius held out his right hand to the owner of the first voice, revealing a pair of wire rimmed spectacles. "Thanks," James said thoughtfully, pushing the specs up the bridge of his nose.

"James sweetie… You never really said hello to me," said Lily sweetly, hoping to squeeze a kiss of two out of him. "You're right." James moved himself from the recliner he'd been occupying, which was hastily taken by a somewhat dismal Sirius. "How's this?" James strode to the sofa and plastered a kiss on Lily's cheek, who gratefully returned it. "Get a room." Remus mockfully proposed. Struck heavily by reconcile, James obeyed and sat down beside Lily.

"So Prongs, Moony," Sirius started, but Lily was eyeing him, so he promptly added, "And Lily… But anyway, have we decided where we're going yet?"

"Well the Leaky Cauldron is closed." Remus informed the group. Due to the looks of shock on his friends faces he was forced to continue on. "I wouldn't have expected them to know. But you not knowing, Lily?" "I've been busy," she confessed, a hint of pink breaking out on her face. "Anyway, they're redecorating."

"How about muggle London," Sirius suggested excitedly. "We are in muggle London Pad," James said out of pure annoyance. "That is a good idea…" Remus mused.

"No." Yes, Lily was always the bearer of bad news. "Why?" James and Sirius whined. "Because I—"

"We solemnly swear we shall do no harm." This time Remus chimed in with them, though he highly doubted they would keep their promise.

"I guess that means we have to walk." James' disposition towards walking was the same, if not more despising to his towards Severus Snape. "I guess we are," Lily said happily. So she might not have won the fight, but would definitely get the last laugh.

**A/N:** That little bit about after school was supposed to separated but it won't let me change it.


	2. Tales from a Lunchtime Charade

**Marauding Mischief  
  
****-**

**Not many reviews… yet, but yeah. Please read and review. And yes I'm too lazy to do anything _but_ copy and paste the disclaimer.**

**-**

**Disclaimer: ****Any characters, places, or anything at all that you recognize as Harry Potter universe is owned by the wonderfully talented J.K. Rowling. Not me. The plot does belong to me though.**

**-**

**-**

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Chapter Two: Tales from a Lunchtime Charade

"I know you both _swore_ you wouldn't do anything… But if _any_ one of you mention magic, do magic, or- or cause any trouble…" Lily kept repeating herself, but she felt a _great_ need for it. What if one of the idiots did the mentioned and a muggle saw? Or, or what if they did some major stupid prank that got them arrested? Obviously this would not do, so Lily was required to keep reminding them.

Today was a rather nice day, though it was hard to tell from inside the building in which they resided. It was about mid-August, so summer was nearly over. But they all were rather glad, having grown fond of cool weather. As for the luncheon spot, they'd decided on a restaurant a couple blocks down- and not wanting to deal with muggle currency or anything, they _had_ to walk.

"This is _so _boring. Can't we do just a little magic?" Sirius whined, dragging his feet along the sidewalk, making faces at passerby's. "No. Besides, you don't have your wand, how could you do any?" Little did Lily know that, though she'd banned them from bringing their wands, they were stowed away in pants pockets.

At long last they arrived at their destination; Cascabel 222 Kensal Road.

"Table for…"

"Four please."

"Right this way."

They were promptly seated at an outdoor table; not too many people, but just enough to notice a disruption. All of them started off with a glass of water, but this just wasn't enough. James and Sirius in turn each kept waving their arms about, and once the attention of the waiter was grasped, they point and laugh then act as if nothing happened.

And here's where it got even more interesting…

(Told in Lily's point of view.)

"Oh god, I cant' believe you're doing this. Mind you when we get back, you're dead." I whispered angrily in the idiots direction. So anyway, once they got bored with distracting people from their meals, they complained. Not just simple complaining of a grown person. No, whiny 3 year old complaining. First, when the waiter came back to take our orders and they _said_ they were ready, when it was their turn, they kept saying 'hang on, one minute', or 'I'll have… no no, wait.' Finally after that was finished and we'd gotten our meals, everything seemed to be going good. But no. Remus joined in.

You know how waiters come back every so often to check on how you're doing? They scared the poor man away so the only time he came was to bring the receipt and change the money after what I refer to as, 'the incident'. Remus complained his water was cold, but when a glass of water was brought to him with ice, he said he was allergic to ice and he needed a new glass. Come on, who's allergic to ice if they drink water?

Then Sirius started attracting some younger girls, and you know how he gets, waving and flashing that _trademark_ smile of his. They came over, and when scolded by me and shooed away, James turned my hair electric green while my back was turned. Though later he said it complimented my eyes, and it's not hair color that matters… That I definitely did not believe.

What was even worse than that was the fact that the muggle girls saw. My hair just magically turned green! They laughed, James turned _their_ hair green. They screamed. So much for no magic. I'm not exactly sure what happened for about five minutes though, as I excused myself to the ladies room- but not before I erased their minds of the _mistake_. They could keep their slimy hair the way it was, not my problem.

(As of now, it is told from Remus' P.O.V.)

Life was good. No wait, let me rephrase that-great. Well, it was until Lily went off to the bathroom and left me with the goons. After the little incident with the girls from the table across the way, Padfoot and Prongs started levitating the salt and pepper, making it pour onto innocent people's food. Like mine. If we were somewhere on Diagon Alley I could've cared less- heck, I would've left the stupid gits hours ago. But in public with muggles I could not.

So when Lily returned they were chucking ice cubes at people, which stopped instantly. Probably from the mad glare in her eyes. No felicity there. I must admit I had my little fun with the water and ice cube thing, but this I could not bear to do.

Publicly humiliate myself.

Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal, at least not now, but then was a different story. Anway, they said they were going to the restroom, dragging me along, which meant me getting involved with their scheming. I proposed we wait until Lily wasn't with us, but nothing gets through those to block heads. Literally.

So Sirius starts talking about what they could do, things they did at Hogwarts that would work here. James mentions when they flooded the second floor. Sirius grows keen on listening. Before I know it, I'm the one who's come up with how to do it!

"Okay, so all we have to do is start running all the faucets in here, and in the other bathroom," I started, glancing in Sirius' direction. "You convince someone to do that, otherwise you have to, and James and I will work on this." With a face shrouded in reconcile, he was off.

"So Remus, what exactly are we doing," James asks me, looking rather puzzled. "You two dimwits probably just waited for the water to overflow, but we my friend, are going to be speeding up the process. Observe." Mustering up a good charm, I made the faucets turn on, and once they were half-way full, it would double, then triple the water amount, spill over, repeat. I figure Sirius did the same, (though I still question myself on how he managed), because in minutes we were up to our waists in water.

A simple blocking charm did just the trick. Until both bathrooms were filled completely to the roof with water, none would leak out. Timing perfectly, when the water rushed out, we came running down the hall and around the corner shouting about a flood. No one believed us, but needless to say, once they were drenched they quite agreed with us.

(And now from P.O.Vs…)

So the restaurant was flooded. Muggles came pouring out of the building and anyone who didn't do the said were clinging to something, or floating. Such as the lovely Miss Evans.

"Potter, Black!" She hesitated for a moment before saying Remus' first name. She'd never really had an opportunity to shot at him, and the other's names just rolled off the tongue. "Remus! Look what you've done." No big deal, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. Once she managed to shut all the water off and calm some people down, she confiscated the three's wands.

"Lily! Who put you in charge? What if someone leaps out from behind a dustbin and mauls me? If I'm dead, it's your fault." James said stubbornly before his own wand was taken.

After their looong talk with the manager, and repair fines of near $300, they set of for home. Two quite pleased with themselves, one completely out of her mind in anger, and one in dismay.

"Hey James, betcha can't do this." Sirius challenged, purposely making his shoes squeal whenever he set a foot down. "Can too." James' shoes were ever wetter, so his shoes squealed even more, gaining him quite an audience of disgust as they walked down the street.

"Of all the unruly, rulebreaking, unabiding things that could be done…" "Prat. Stupid, stupid prat." Lily kept muttering such things under her breath when they boys were out of hearing range. And upon their arrival at their homes… Let's just say we have six angry neighbors, one distressed girlfriend, whom was most of the cause for angry neighbors, seeing as she kept slamming her door in their faces, opening it and shouting at them, then repeating the process.

As for the others that we have: disgruntled roommate, annoyed roommate for complaints and… And well, someone out of this world.

Sirius had managed to pick up several people along the way and aggravated them within seconds.

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Author's Note: This chapter didn't really turn out the way I had hoped, so it may undergo some changes. I've _never_ in my life done a P.O.V. thing so please, please, please let me know what you think of it. And the place that they go to for lunch, I got the name and address from a London map online. So also I guess I know where they live. The fact that there are apartments on the street may be quite fictitious though I do not know. Review!


	3. Of Snacks and Strange Orders

**Marauding Mischief  
  
****-**

**No more reviews than last time… a little nasty thing about not including Wormtail. Meh. As always, read and review please.**

**-**

**Disclaimer: ****Any characters, places, or anything at all that you recognize as Harry Potter universe is owned by the wonderfully talented J.K. Rowling. Not me. The plot does belong to me though.**

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**-**

**Chapter Three: **Of Snacks and Strange Orders

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Three pairs of wet socks and some trousers were hung across the living room in what James and Remus called home. They had tried to convince Lily to come over and visit with them, but to now avail. As of now she was currently deaf to her telephone's rings or knew it was them and was ignoring them. They gone ahead and agreed to the latter.

Sirius' room being right net door to Lily, he automatically had invited himself over to visit with his friends until she cooled down. And as he mentioned, she might bust a hole through his wall and try to strangle him or something.

"Don't worry Prongs, she always exaggerates, she'll be better in no time," Sirius said unconvincing from the kitchen. Even after the hour they'd spent at the restaraunt he was _still_ starved.

"You call slamming the door repeatedly while yelling at us exaggerating," James called back, from the door, and next from behind the couch; as he was pacing the room.

"Well, you know what I mean." Sirius continued sifting through the refrigerator and next the cupboards. "Jeez, how do you guys ever find anything in here? It's a mess!"

"I recall some of us mentioning that to you about your trunk whenever _you_ were the last one using the map and we had to find it," Remus said chuckling. Sirius always lived in a mess, yet he always protested, saying he knew where every last thing was. Which was entirely true.

"Okay, we have chips and salsa, some powdery doughnuts, umm, these weird looking things…" Sirius trailed off once he began eating the snacks he'd discovered in the kitchen. "Hey look… Bertie Botts. Here James, eat this one." Remus held a brownish greenish bean to James' face for inspection, which he'd inferred to be wood or perhaps beanstalks.

Studying it suspiciously James finally popped it into his mouth, his previous look of enjoyment replaced by disgust. "Ick." He spit it out onto the carpet, rubbing the remains off his tongue. "Tast' 'ike wild grass," he said without either of them understanding what he said, as his hands were still in his mouth.

Knock knock.

"I'll get it!" Sirius shouted racing for the door. He might not live there, but as much time as he spent there he could have.

"Uh, delivery for a Mr. Potter from the- the muggle?"

"Eh, uh, foreign post office." Sirius muttered, realizing the deliverer was a clueless muggle.

"- post office of a.. " The delivery man stared at the package for a moment before continuing on.

"Brownie maker."

"Thanks." He signed for it and shut the door before whipping around with his mouth open.

"You ordered a _brownie maker?_" He inquired, rattling the package around and dropped it onto James' lap. "It sounded like fun. Plus I figured that it might impress Lily if we did something the hard way." "Plus we thought if some idiot like that delivered he might find it weird to be delivering it to '_Remus Lupin._'" Remus didn't really have much of a need to finish it off for James, as Sirius already figured why it was delivered to who it was.

The little marshmallow stuffing cracker things, (I don't know what to call them), were scattered on the floor in seconds with the three males gathered around staring confused at the contents. "Okay.. Who took Muggle Studies?"

"We all did you prat." Remus pointed out.

"This might take some work."

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A/N: Yes, yes, I know, it's short. But the next one will be longer, much. I promise.. seeing as I have something in store for the boys. Coughdisastercough. To get rid of any confusion, those last three voices, first was James, then Remus, and Sirius.


	4. The Mistake of Brownies

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Marauding Mischief

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So I had a little problem with the story thing so I ended up deleting it and re-creating it which was annoying to the tenth power. But anyway, without further ado, here is the fourth and longer chapter, as promised.

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Disclaimer: Any characters, places, or anything at all that you recognize as Harry Potter universe is owned by the wonderfully talented J.K. Rowling. Not me. The plot does belong to me though.

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Chapter Four: The Mistake of Brownies

The whole idea of making brownies by muggle ways was the first terrible mistake. The ones to follow would be much worse though. Once white counter tops were smeared with chocolate and milk, and the pale yellow walls were hardly recognizable.

"James! Don't-do-that." Remus gasped from the corner, rubbing an already dirty sleeve across his brown looking face. James had just started mixing the brownie mix with the mixer about a mile above the bowl, blowing batter _everywhere._ "Okay Sirius.. read that little bit on the back of the box."

"What, this?"

"No you idiot, that." James jabbed a finger near the middle of the box that said how long to bake it for.

"Oh, right." Sirius looked at him sheepishly before reading what was in the area. "Uh… 350 degrees for um, it says like 35 minutes... annnd, you put all the ingredients in, right?"

Remus took his turn this time and glanced at the temperature on the oven. 350 degrees. He set it for 35 minutes and strode over to the counter. "Ready?"

He and James carefully poured the mix into the pan and put it in the oven. Little did they know that it wasn't set for 35 minutes anymore. Now it was programmed to bake for two hours. Good ol' Sirius had been messing with the buttons and didn't change it back. So much for good brownies.

The terror had only begun though.

While the three were tidying up the kitchen during the duration of baking time, they came across the mixer coated with chocolate. Yum. And Sirius had even been dreaming of it earlier. There was also the bowl, but most of the mix was in the oven baking, as Remus had demanded they get as much as possible out. Mush to James' dismay.

"So who gets it?"

"Me," Sirius proposed, grinning broadly.

"We'll play for it," James suggested which they all came to agreement on.

"Play what?"

"Paper, scissors, rock."

"Okay."

Paper, scissors, rock.

James had scissors, Remus rock, and Sirius rock.

"Okay, so James gets the little bit in the bowl. All that's left is the mixer thingies and the thing we scooped the mix out with."

Paper, scissors, rock.

"Dammit. You won." Remus informed Sirius disappointedly.

In response to this Sirius danced around the kitchen with the mixer in hand.

Quite happy with himself he promptly jammed a beater into his mouth, with it still on the mixer, and with the mixer _STILL_ plugged in. How incredibly stupid. But you could suspect Sirius doing something as serious as this.

By accident while the beater was in his mouth he pushed the on button. What-a-disaster. Shouts boomed throughout the kitchen and panicked yelps disrupted surrounding neighbors. "Ah, ah, ah, ah!" Remus stood mouth gaping at him while James started panicky shouts.

"Heeeelllp meee." Sirius managed to get out through the beating his tongue was receiving. Remus finally managed to wrench the thing off his tongue, only to drop it in fear on the ground.

"Wh' 'id 'at?" Due to the nature of the quite recent event, Sirius could barely get a proper word out. He felt as if he'd just had his tongue pierced, it was swollen and depriving him of the ability of speech.

"What are we gonna do, what are we gonna do, what are we gonna-" James was now standing against the counter gasping for air while he muttered under his breath. As if she were being summoned, Lily was now standing in the midst of the destruction. "What on Earth have you done?" She inquired, a frown playing on her face. Though she was still quite angry with the three, she couldn't help feeling a _bit_ sorry for all of them.

"Siri- James, what were you thinking?" He opened his mouth wide-eyed and stared at her for a moment. "Yes I know you took Muggle Studies, but mind you barely passed. And Sirius, Sirius. You passed with wonderful grades? Why-how did you do this?"

"I 'on' 'o'. I' 'ust 'appen'd."

"Oh right, tongue swollen." She pulled her wand out and tapped the side of his face. Very visibly his tongue shrank back to normal size and the discoloration was gone. "Thanks." She smiled for a moment before frowning again. "Your welcome. But I still can't believe you… after everything that happened today and then you do, you do this."

"Lily, you have to admit that it _was_ rather amusing… those muggles thought something had exploded or something…" After about ten short minutes of cleaning, thanks very much to magic, they were each seated in arm chairs in the family room. Brownies in hand. Even though they had been burned, Lily managed to salvage them.

Laughing she nodded then questioned them, giggling still. "Why don't any of you have pants on?" At one they all looked down, blushing ever so slightly. "They got wet." They muttered, glancing over at the clothes still drying. "Didn't your skirt get wet at all?"

Sighing she looked at them in disbelief. "Yes, but have any of you ever heard of _changing _your clothes?"

Nodding and laughing silently James propped his feet up on a nearby table. "So.. will you be staying for dinner?" Sirius smirked and glanced towards the spankin' clean kitchen.

"Actually, I think I better get going. My grandmother called earlier and I promised I'd call her back. Something about my awful sister Petunia and.." She trailed off with the last back at the looks of disgust on their faces. "Well, seeing as you could care less, I'll talk to you lot tomorrow. Bye James." With a last smile she was gone and back in her own home.

Remus was the first to speak, breaking the slight rein of silence. "So I take it your staying Padfoot?"

"Yup.. So what's for dinner?"

A large can smashed into his head, sending him flying over the back of his chair and to the ground. "Eww, noodles?" Of course it would be him who cared about what was to eat, not what had just happened.

"Fine then, starve." James said stubbornly, not about to change his dinner plans. Not that it mattered, he just wanted to be difficult.

"I will then."

With that he was shoved out the front door, and locked out. Remus and James being the kind and considerate ones they also put a temporary charm on the perimeter of their house so Sirius couldn't apparate in. What great friends.

"Let me in, let me in, let me-" Suddenly the sound was gone and they could only see the door shaking, no sound was heard; all courtesy of Mr. Moony and his silencing charm.

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A/N: So, did you like it? –bounces up and down- Anyway… The part where Sirius gets his tongue caught in the mixer was and idea from the commercial for that Dairy Queen brownie shake thing. I love it. I was going to have Remus get his tongue caught but I figured he wouldn't be stupid enough to eat it with it plugged in and still in the mixer. As for James, I figured since he had the beginning dream scene I'd do a little something with Mr. Padfoot. Although all the Messers are quite mischievous, I figured it'd suit him the best. And if you can't understand what he's saying when his tongues swollen… well, too bad. Hehe.


	5. What Lily Didn't Want to Know

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Marauding Mischief

What? No reviews? Heh, that's alright. Motivation is good but I can live without.

Disclaimer: You lot should already know that the only thing that belongs to me is the plot. You really think I could create such great characters? I think not..

Chapter Five: What Lily Didn't Want to Know

The next morning held a lot more in store for all of them; more then could be imagined. Sirius had ended up doing just what he said he would; starving. Not to death, but he slept out in the hallway outside of James and Remus' door. Lily had gone home and received a most disappointing message.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

KNOCK.

"Whaduya want?" James stood half-asleep and rather puzzled at the door, looking back and forth between herself and his best friend asleep on the floor. "Why is he there?"

"It doesn't matter. I have to talk to you", she paused and stared at him for a moment, he apparently not taking the hint from her tone of urgency alone. "Now."

Yawning and looking rather disheveled he ushered her into the front room; then decided against his first thought and dragged Sirius in after. "So, what is it that you _have_ to tell me about right this instant?"

"P-P-", she couldn't bring herself to say it. No way could she, it just _couldn't _happen. Not because she didn't want it to, because it absolutely _could not._ "Spit it out?"

"Fine. P-Petunia", even with the 'shove' of reassurance, or possibly annoyance, she still stuttered. "Petunia is getting married." A look of shock, then confusion, and lastly, a response or complete doubt. "Is she really? Or, are you just… pulling my leg."

"Yes, she is. But funny thing, I'm not invited." Every last muscle in James' face tensed, not from pain, but he was trying as hard as humanly possible, _not_ to laugh at her.

"So uh, why not?" Now it was impossible not to let just a little smirk be revealed. "I don't know", she said sneering at him. "And it is not funny."

"Of course not Lily dear."

About an hour after their discussion Sirius and Remus both had awaken.

"So let me get this straight, Petunia hadn't the guts to call you and tell you she was getting married-" Lily nodded and waited for Remus to continue on, which he did without delay. "Or that you weren't invited, so your grandmother called to tell you this. And she was happy?"

Blushing and grinning sheepishly Lily nodded again. "Yes, because Petunia somehow got it into our grandmother's head that me being a witch is bad, when her first opinion of me was that it was 'wonderfully brilliant that a witch was to be in the family', precisely quoted from her."

Now was Sirius' turn to add his opinion; which on many occasions was never asked of.

"I think you should sue.. or better yet-" Lily smacked him upside the head and for a moment he stared blankly at them, attempting to regain his thoughts. "As I was saying", when he began again, he shot a glare in Lily's direction during a short pause. "Instead of suing her, you could always, threaten with a spell, that might like, I don't know." He smiled and lay back down on the floor, pretending he hadn't said a thing. The thing with Sirius was he might come up with wonderful ideas in some cases, but he never exactly thought them through, or considered all possible outcomes.

"Sirius, I don't want to go. So when she called it didn't really bother me. The thing that bothered me was that Petunia made my grandmother call, and she didn't do it herself."

"Well then quit whining to us and call her and give her a piece of your mind", he sat up again and shrugged when saying this.

"Would you like to silence yourself, or shall I do so myself and shove you in the boot downstairs?" (A/N: For those of you who aren't British or just don't know, boot is the trunk of a car in the U.K.)

Sneering in defeat he shut his mouth; but nonetheless glanced at both James and Remus for a defense.

Risking a few words to his life, Remus did a little 'ahem' before starting. "Sooo are you planning on going?" Lily looked over at him quizzically, raising an eyebrow. Remus glanced to the side then grinned sheepishly, realizing his error. Quickly he corrected himself. "I mean, are you planning on calling her like Sirius suggested?"

"Nah… I think I'll let it go this time. Perhaps my parents aren't even aware of this and will make her change plans."

"I'm hungry", Sirius said loudly, now in an armchair. Everyone else present nodded in agreement and muttered some form of me too. Seconds later there was a large tray of donuts in the middle of the room on the coffee table, and Lily's wand was nowhere to be seen. "Have one, won't you? They're delicious." James tempted her with a cream filled while stuffing a frosted one into his own mouth.

"I better not.. I've things to do today. See you all later." Before she apparated away though, she took care to grab a handful of donuts. "Bye!"

"So what are we planning on doing again?"

"For the absolute last time Moony, we're-" Sirius was cut off suddenly because he now had four or five letters stuffed in his mouth.

James quickly relieved him of the mouthful handing a couple to him, one to Remus and kept one for himself. Remus was the first to open the one in his hand, it read:

Dear Mr. Black,

We are pleased to inform you that you've been selected to appear at our annual wizard's meet, where you will be eligible to iuthjgnm,angjkahoioawjetoi;nklc, as well as get a complimentary broomstick.

The date of this event will be the last day of the month, August the 31st. Please arrive promptly and bring your galleons. We hope to receive your answer of yes this week.

Sincerely yours,

The Renounced Wizards

"That little bit about what you're eligible to do something is blurred up", Remus concluded, folding the parchment in half and dropped it on the floor.

"I've heard of those guys, they always cheat people with prizes and stuff… you shouldn't go", James commented, peering at the parchment on the floor.

"You think the master pranker for several years running-" when Sirius said master pranker Remus snorted, so it might be true, but not _always_. ' "Anyway, you think I'd get bamboozled after me and James doin' all that stuff?"

"No."

With a roll of eyes as if letting everyone know the obviousness of the question, another no echoed out.

"So are you gonna go?"

"Is that really a difficult question to answer yourself Moony?"

A/N: Fwoohoo! Finally it's up. I've been gone for ages and hadn't anytime for finishing up the chapter. It's not very long, but a little bit of a cliffhanger at the end, no?


	6. Is he Gonna Go?

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Marauding Mischief

It would've been a miracle had I put this up the day after. But alas, miracles do not exist within this period of time. If they did… no one would have to attend school and everyone would be highly intelligent frogs preparing their rein to rule the universe! Ahem, anyway, here it is.

I lied. One more thing. If you're a Harry Potter fan, which I take it you are if you're here reading my story, or are both awesome! J.K. gives out clues to the sixth book every so often behind the 'secret door'.

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Disclaimer: You lot should already know that the only thing that belongs to me is the plot. You really think I could create such great characters that the great J.K. has? Insane people.

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Chapter Six: Is he Gonna Go?

"Are you gonna go?"

"Gonna go, gonna go?"

"Shut up!"

James had resorted to doing a 'rain dance' like number around Sirius' chair until he came up with an answer. "La la la la la." It was no use. _Even _with Sirius' abasement of the 'lala, I can't here you' trick, he was no match for the ever annoying James Potter.

"Fine! You win, please, just leave me alone," he surrendered and shook his head back and forth.

"I'm not gonna go to some stupid excuse for an 'event'. I'd rather stay here and pig out."

"You ate like, half an hour ago," Remus so kindly pointed out.

"So?"

"Honestly Sirius, your stomach is an _endless_ black hole," Remus replied, laughing a bit.

"Isn't that what a black hole is…. endless?" James asked quizzically, raising a confused brow.

Remus simply huffed and ignored the question.

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Quite often Sirius ignored invites to what he referred to as 'stupid gimmicks', and other sorts of wizarding gatherings. But, the one thing he could never resist participating in was the one and only, Wizard Feedin'- Round.

This was quite simply, a complete and total pigout. Any wizard who could show his (or her) wand for identification as 'one of them' at any food place in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, were allowed free and unlimited food; or as much as they could manage to get into their system before bursting like a balloon being poked by a pin.

In three days from the next Friday, or ten days as some would much rather say, would be the said event.

"So James, is Lily going to go to the WFR this year? I remember she didn't last… for whatever reason," Remus questioned as he crossed through the center arrangement of sofas and chairs, to the kitchen. "… but maybe the question I _should_ ask is if you're going, correct?" He added before completely disappearing past the threshold of the kitchen.

"Yeah, we're both going. And for once I can say we're going together!" James replied delightfully, following Remus to the kitchen. He stood in the doorway watching Remus as he prepared a sandwich. "Make me one?"

"No."

"Fine then."

"Good."

"Great!" James finished the argument, as usual and strode back to his prior seat. Little arguments like these always seemed to arise between them, about anything from whose turn it was to clean the house or who was _supposed_ to have put his dirty socks in the laundry.

**A/N:** Nuh nuh nuh! It's finally up. Sorry it's sorta short, but I'm expriencing that little annoyance we call writer's block. Hopefully I'll update before the next **millenia**, but we'll see. We will see. 


	7. Television Terror

**Marauding Mischief**

**Soooo. Me back into my story writing. Sorry it's been so long for anyone who's been reading my story. I half forgot about, half… well, didn't feel like writing. BUT now I do! So on we go!**

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**Disclaimer: Nothing except the plot is mine. DUH!**

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**Chapter Seven: **Television Terror

Later that day, the three Marauders had decided to try and give "living the life" in a muggle city a try again. This time WITHOUT Lily. It was around 5:30 when they all finally agreed upon somewhere to go. Remus had earlier mentioned that he had seen this HUGE thing muggles called a billboard advertising a new television show, what it was called he couldn't remember, that was going to be filmed somewhere nearby.

(Just before)

"Hey you guys, I saw this thingy called a billboard, and this muggle television show is being filmed a couple blocks down from here."

"Oh really Remus, while you were looking at this billboard did you happen to see a pig fly by?" James said, but he quickly realized the stupidity in his response, as a witch or wizard could easily make a pig fly. "Err, nevermind that."

Sirius appeared rather preoccupied as he was violently then much more calmly bobbing his head like a parakeet, all the while mouthing words to some…. song. "Oi Padfoot!" He was jerking his head around only until James called his nickname. "Yes?" He already knew the question, but was curious to see how much he could annoy the both of them. Even though the day was practically over. A glare told him it was already working. "Oh… right. Uh sure. Ya. Pigs fly, sound goods." Remus rolled his eyes

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"Okay so remember. _Call_ Lily and tell her were going out for the night. Oh, and don't forget to tell her that we're NOT going to be in muggle London. She'd kill us." Remus was taking James through the process for about the sixth or seventh time. He didn't want it messed up. "Oh and Sirius, shut your face." Looking very downcast Sirius shut his mouth and sat down.

"Hi, Lily?"

"Who else do you think it would be?" Giggling was heard from the other end of the line, and James looked like he felt stupid. Not that that wasn't all the time anyway.

"I just wanted to let you know that we were going to be out for the night, so you probably don't want to stop by either of our places."

"Oh. Okay. Well then I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye bye." Her voice caused James to think she was saddened by the fact that they wouldn't be home.

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Several minutes later the bunch was walking down the street, making sure the entire street knew what their conversation was about. They were practically shrieking.

"No James, that girl in the pink shirt on the bench does not think you're hot, nor does she want to go out with you," Sirius said loudly with a huge grin on his face, making sure that he was looking the girl in the face.

"Now Sirius, I'm seriously serious, I know you like that girl, but just because you do does not mean you need to embarrass me to get her attention. I mean I think if you did that, she'd end up with me, not you. Cause if somebody had to choose between us." A smirk was plastered on James' face as he said this. The play on his name, and of course the fact that neither of them got very much embarrassed in front of girls.

"Would you two numbskulls shut that big gaping hole in your mouth?" Remus half suggested half ordered them to do. "Ooh so we've got ourselves a witty person with us."

"But then what position does that leave open for you?" Remus challenged before answering himself, "Screw-up of the month? Or should I say year?"

"Well I'd have to say Most Handsome Hunk," Sirius said placid. Boy, he never missed a beat.

"More like dumbest bloke on the block," James said quietly, but just loudly enough for the other Marauders to hear. "Ha ha, very funny James."

"I know. That's why I'm not called serious!" Remus stifled his laughter but James was choking with laughter. "That joke _never_ gets old!"

"Ya I know," Sirius replied, defeated for the time being.

"C'mon dim wits. We're here." Remus nudged the two who were about to start bickering again in the ribs.

"Now that's what I call a dim wit," Sirius muttered, pointing his finger at the guy guarding the door inconspicuously. Unluckily for Sirius though, the guard had good hearing.

"What was that?"

"Oh I just said that there was a dim lit… flit." Okay so that last part of that didn't make much snese but that guy was scary looking. Plus, he was saving the good pranks for later.

The guard glared daggers at him but said nothing else on the matter. "Do you boys have your tickets?" He sneered when saying this because obviously they didn't.

"Tickets? What're those?" James' voice held a note of sincerity in it, even though the remaining marauders knew it was a load of bull that he didn't know what tickets were. "No one mentioned needing a so called 'ticket' to get in."

"Sorry, no entrance without a ticket."

"Fine." With James leading the way they walked back out to the sidewalk several feet away. "How are we gonna get in without a ticket?" James questioned, seeing no other way except the door that the guard was, well, guarding. The building was somewhat small, with no exterior decorations.

"Don't worry James, I have it covered. Obviously if one of us makes a distraction, and we're visible in the distraction, the guard won't budge. But if we say… did something like.." Remus paused for a moment and waved his wand in the direction of something by some stairs. "Now watch."

"What is is?" Sirius was leaping up and down, trying to grab a better view of something that was making a rather strange noise.

"I dunno.." James started, but corrected himself mid sentence. "A GOLF CART! Run for your lives! It's coming, attacking!" Very dramatically, as if it had been planned, James dashed down the sidewalk, shrieking that their was a mad car blowing smoke out, pretending to be a bull. Sirius on the other hand took care of the guard. "Save me!" He had "accidentally" gotten cornered by the golf cart. Which was across the way.

The guard acting on instinct rather than intelligence ran over, while Remus snooped inside for some way to keep him away. finding nothing he muttered a charm that would cause him to forget about being a guard. And then he changed the golf cart back to normal.

"Prongs! Padfoot! Let's go!" Remus shoved them inside before anyone would notice what was going on. "COOL!" Sirius ran over to the nearest camera man and began asking random questions, which seemed to be frightening the poor man.

"What's your job?"

"To film people with the camera."

"Coooool. Can you see me?" He stuck his face in front of the lens and stuck his tongue out.

"Yes…" the man answered rather catiously.

"What's this do? And this? And this?" Sirius started poking in buttons while nearby James was inspecting an odd looking box.

"Hmmm."

"Hmm what?" His mind asked him. "I dunno, but don't even think about arguing with me!" Something else came up in his mind and he shouted outloud accidentally "I said NO!" The nearest people to him started with wide eyes, doing great impressions of some deer caught in the headlights.

"Let's see what this does." He pressed one button and music started playing. "Ugh, awful taste in music." He turned it back off and then flicked some switches. This time the white lights turned off and a blue one came on, then off and then a red one. Someone in charge of doing that realized what he was going and told him to get lost. Sirius on the other hand had gotten bored.

"Where's Moony?"

"Uhh…….." Sirius started looking over the wave of people moving about. "Over there!" The two raced over to the corner area Remus was in. Sirius won. Even though he cheated.

"And what might I ask is dear Moony doing?"

"Actually nothing." Surprisingly they had been here for less then an hour and they were causing trouble, yet Remus wasn't involved. And he was the one who suggested coming here!

"What's the matter with you?" Sirius demanded an explanation, but got no better of an answer than the previous one. "Er, nothing?"

"Okay fine then. I have a dare. For both of you." Remus and Sirius both leaned in while James explained the dare, occasionally glancing up and around for any eaves droppers. When he finished explaining, all three were grinning. This was going to be fun was the only thought on their minds.

Several seconds later, a microphone nowhere in sight, James was announcing something to everyone in the audience.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have something to present to you fine people today. Moony, if you please." He paused and a sudden breeze burst through the room, closing the door, and somehow locking it.

"Alrighty, as I was saying. On with the show!"

Sirius was suddenly racing around on the floor in what appeared to be a horse race. On an invisible horse. Some teenage girls in the audience shrieked because it "scared them". Next minute there was Remus in the race.

"Folks, I must say, this is an amazing race. Padfoot, hey, mind if I call ya Paddy? Okay great. Paddy's in the lead, Moony's right behind…" James was pretty good at imitating annoucers who talk really super duper fast. "And the winner isssss NOT Paddy! Sorry mate, maybe next year. As for now, we must be going!"

With that James jumped down from his perch above the audience and landed behind Moony on his "horse." The three took off from the building when the door "suddenly" flew open.

"Well that, was fun."

It was well past 9 o' clock when Moony stated this, and just after 9:30 when they got home.

**(A/N: Well, how was it?I hope everyone enjoyed it. Anywho, I'm thinking I'm only going to have one long, or two, mid-length chapters before I end my story. But in the meantime, review please?)**


	8. What SHOULDN'T Be in the News

**Marauding Mischief**

**Oooh. Another chapter being updated so quickly. AMAZING! And the fact that it is 1:30 in the morning... hmm, I wonder if that will have some effect on my writing? Hopefully not. Anyways, on with the story! Well, almost.**

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**Disclaimer: We all know that only the plot and other characters are mine.**

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**Chapter Eight:** What SHOULDN'T Be in the News

The very next day after the troublesome Marauders, minus one, had wrecked havoc upon their poor home called London, there's was word about them in the news. Muggle news. Which wouldn't seem bad at first except for the fact that they were visibly floating several feet off the ground with no visible help. Now how else could that happen without magic?

Sirius had decided that he was going to camp out at James and Remus' home for the rest of the week. Literally camp out. Thanks to some simple magic he turned the furniture in the main room into woodsy looking items, and provided himself a nice campfire (courtesy of the coffee table).

As all three of them liked to be "open" to muggle ideas and devices, there was a tv in both of their homes. James was in the kitchen making some breakfast while Remus was rummaging through a closet for some thingamagig that was like this big and was red and white.

"One egg or two?" All of them being pigs, Remus not so much, they requested two eggs each.

"Got it. Oh and Padfoot, will you go across the way and tell Lily she's invited over for breakfast? Thanks!" James shouted without waiting for a response.

"Sheesh. Acting like I'm his slave or something..." Sirius was off of the floor walking towards the door, "ordering me around like he owns me," he was now opening the door and out in the hall banging on Lily's door, "wait a minute. Why am I doing this then?" Too late. Lily already opened the door.

"Yes stupid?"

"Oh James just wanted... hey wait a minute! That's not funny!" Lily was desperately trying to control her laughter but to no avail.

"Anways," he continued, glaring at her. "James just wanted me to tell you that you're invited to breakfast. If you're coming you might want to make it prompt, as you can only be served until 11 am, and it is now getting to be 10:30 am."

"Thanks very much for that incredibly long invitation." She shook her head and chuckled lightly. "Oh and tell him I'll be over in a couple minutes."

He saluted Lily and trotted back to the other room. He was greeted by shushing from James and Remus when he shouted his hello.

"What's the matter with you guys?"

"Shut up nitwit. Look at this." James pointed to the screen. The television was on a local news channel, and on it was "breaking news" from the other day. He immediately shut up and listened to the news guy person.

Today we bring you some breaking news about a very strange event from just the other day. Here we have some footage of what we can only assume to be very knowledgable pranksters at location just before the live filming of the brand new television show being filmed in our very own London.

After his announcement it showed the footage of them making complete idiots out of themselves, (not that they didn't do that every day), when Padfoot and Moony were having their invisible horse race and then James leaping down and the three galloping out of the building.

"Now that was rather interesting. And just think, we're good enough to be on tv!" Remus started talking about how great this was, but then stopped and started to say that it was bad. "Oooh, but what if Lily see? She'll kill us." Little did he know.

"What if Lily sees what?"

"Oh nothing!" They all said very unconving as Remus flipped the tv off. "Just some silly news about something that happened in the grocery store." God Remus was a terible liar. Luckily Lily didn't notice.

"Oh okay. So where's this breakfast I was promised?"

The group suddenly realized that James wasn't there anymore.

"Oi Prongsie!" At his nickname he appeared around the corner in the kitchen. "That's my name. And breakfast is ready now. Self serve."

Sirius and Remus had a race. Remus won this time. But he cheated.

For once they were having a rather pleasant conversation. Well, at least they were trying. Sirius had come up with the stupid idea that chickens were "invented." Not that it couldn't have happened. Just most sensibly thinking people, A.K.A. Remus and Lily thought differently.

"Yes but see Sirius if a chicken was invented..." Lily was having difficulty getting her point across.

"Paddy, how 'bout we just say chickens were just here. They weren't invented, they weren't anything. Agreed?" He held his hand out and Sirius shook it.

"James Potter. Don't. You. Dare."

"Dare what my sweetheart?"

"Throw any sort of food at me?"

"Like this?" He threw some pieces of his toast in her general direction, not necessarily at her.

"Yes. Just like that."

"Aha! You said it's okay. So in that case..."

"FOOD FIGHT!" Sirius finished James' sentence that he'd been looking forward to, so now he had to be punished.

"Ah! No! Cold. HOT! Ow ow ow ow AIEEEE!" He was rushing around the room holding onto his head, well actually hair, for dear life. James had just poured milk onto his perfectly precious hair, then topped it off with some oatmeal since he said it was cold.

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An hour later, after the had finished cleaning up the kitchen without magic (which was their punishment from Lily for destroying a nice day), everyone but Sirius was snoozing, aside from Lily of course who had already left.

Now for some fun. Let's see let's see. What would be best for such a fine day such as today? Haha, that sounded funny. Oh right. Back to the prank. Oooops, didn't mean to start talking out loud. Aw, dammit.

Sirius had finally decided upon poking Remus until he woke up, so James' awakening could be witnessed by someone who cared.

"Now tell me again why you couldn't just late me sleep and wake up Prongs? Yourself?" While listening to Sirius' idea Remus was moodily intervening with his rude comments.

"Because it would have been rude to myself for not having someone to see something so great."

"Whatever," he mutted grumpily, waiting for the last.

"1...2...3!"

Remus hastily did what Sirius had told him to. "OI PRONGSIE! TIME TO WAKIE WAKIE!" Which was to shout something, whatever came to mind, into his ear, and then Sirius would take care of the rest. Place the bait.

James flew at least two feet off of the couch before landing quite gracefully on his arse. But he wasn't on the ground. He was in a box, filled with whipped cream and chocolate. "However much thoughful I'd like to say this is... I'm not so sure I like being waken up for this. But it does..." He stuck a fist into a good looking part and shoveled the fluff in.

"Disgusting! Eww, what's in this? Get me out!"

Remus took the courtest of helping him out and explaining.  
"Some foreign fluffy stuff used to decorate not eat food. And the chocolate is..."

"Well, thinned out mud. And you're welcome."

"Sirius came up with it though! Just so you know."

"Ya, but you helped!"

"So?"

"So what"!"

"You said so first!"

"Shut up both of you. I just want to say thanks." Of course though both Sirius and Remus knew they were in for deep trouble. They very well recognized that look in his eyes.

**(A/N: First off, sorry about some spelling errors in that last chapter. I didn't notice until it was too late. Second off, sorry about any ones in this. I'd had to check it myself since I'm not using Microsoft Word and this blasted thing doesn't have spell check. Anywho, sorry if this ends up being crap, like too short. It was written in the wee hours of the morning. Ummm,ya. That's all folks! (Funny theme music))**


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